For your amusement, something a little different! Enjoy this guest post from @SophiiMaria13:

There are some in our industry who are dead against Christmas…including Santa Claus! He hates Christmas time! With all the horrible rich kids that want Christmas presents and their parents threatening to sue Kris Kringle, he still has to deliver thousands of presents whilst Mrs Claus goes shacking off with the milkman…

Yes that was an abrupt start to this post but I think it’s time this Christmas not to give to charity, but to give back to the one and only Santa Claus!

For decades and centuries Mr Claus has been hand delivering presents to children all over the world! And year after year do these children ever thank Santa for what he’s done? No! They just leave him milk and cookies which adds pressure to his heart condition linked to his obesity! And the poor guy is Lactose Intolerant! I’m not surprised if the sleigh is powered by the guy’s farts nowadays!

There are some that leave Santa a glass of sherry for him. But this brings out another side to Mr Claus. After his record of being in rehab over ten times in the last ten years I’m not surprised by the news that Mrs Claus is threatening to divorce him!

My point to this post is let us help Mr Claus! We need to stop provoking his heart problems and drinking problems! We need to say “hey! wait a minute! Santa is currently suffering form heart disease! Instead of leaving him a mince pie, I’m going to leave him a healthy nutritious salad full of vitamins to keep him alert and safe up on the flying sleigh roads!

Let’s say thank you to Santa Claus this year! Ask for only one present each (smaller than an ipad!) and give the old feller a rest! Hey! Why not even give your kids the gift of manners this time of year! No presents (so cue the tantrums) and give them a right rollocking and let them know how to behave like civilised folk! Because by joe, we need them to learn a bit of decorum!